The older I get, the more I am learning about WHO I AM and this whoooole thing called "life." This past weekend I experienced a "break-up" with a friend that completely shattered my heart. What's funny is that I thought I was done dealing with dating and relationships and especially done with break-ups since I got married. What I didn't realize is how very wrong that assumption was. I didn't realize that from here on out, every single person in my life is a new relationship and every single person stands the chance of breaking my heart.
In retrospect, I now realize I leaned on her way too much. I also realize we just weren't meant to be. There's an old saying that people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime and it's quite clear now that I was trying to make it a lifetime when really, it was just a reason/season type of deal. She served a very specific and magical purpose for me and for that I will always be eternally grateful.
My thoughts and feelings have honestly run the gamut these past few days. I teeter between anger, sadness, loss, loneliness, mistrust, confusion, love, empathy, frustration, numbness... you get the point... I think I've felt every emotion there is to feel at this point (but really, probably not - I'm sure there's more to come).
I've also realized just how important and special SisterhoodLIVE will be in my life. I've realized in the past week that I needed to undergo some very BIG changes internally so that I can bring about the very BEST event for the women who show up. These women NEED and deserve for me to deliver my all and my best for them... so that they can find whatever it is they're supposed to find in coming to this event.
This week has been one of grounding myself back to reality and really going back to myself to understand what I want and need. What do I need out of SisterhoodLIVE? What do I want my event to look like? What women do I want to be there? What will the women who are there get out of being there? What can I deliver to ensure this is THE BEST event they've ever been to??
I have to consider all of these things and with that consideration comes adjustment and perfecting and tweaking. A lot changed this week but I think it changed in the best of ways... so that I can show up more fully ME... so that I can deliver for those who NEED ME... so that I can be ENOUGH just as I am. :)
As hurt and as heartbroken as I am today, I know that I will survive and I will be better for having experienced this pain. I will deliver an even better experience for the women who arrive in Rhode Island in April and I will deliver a better product to the world by focusing on what is truly important to me.
If you feel curious or called to join us at SisterhoodLIVE - please feel free to reach out and ask whatever questions you may have or head on over to the website to register yourself! I absolutely CANNOT WAIT to welcome to the event. It's going to be truly incredible. <3
Started life in 1985.